Kefalos a retrospective

Kefalos, a retrospective.


In my mind I am Adonis, youthful, rippling biceps, long flowing locks and devastatingly handsome.

‘Grommit, have you shrunk my shorts?’ I ask. She raises an eyebrow.

Truth is that more hair grows out of my ears than my head, youth is a distant memory and the shorts probably haven’t shrunk.

I first visited Kefalos in the late nineties on an allocated on arrival trip, it was the first time I had been on a jet and the first time I had travelled further than the near continent. I remember getting off the plane just as the sun was rising, marvelling at the heat it gave off so early in the morning and catching the smell of thyme on the breeze.

Once customs was cleared, we met the rep who told us that we had been allocated an apartment in Kefalos, this meant little to me at the time, it was just a cheap week abroad with my then girlfriend.

We transferred to Kefalos on an old bus which dropped us off at the Themis Apartments on the back road running up from the harbour. First impressions of the resort were that it was a bit scruffy in places, but the weather was good, there were bars and restaurants aplenty and we could sit on sun beds on the beach. Of course I got sunburned, I had never experienced heat like this before and overdid it. The week soon passed and something about the place had made a lasting impression on me, the friendliness of the locals, the laid back atmosphere and that undefinable Kefalosness that the place instils. We came back the next year for a fortnight and the next. We watched Goran Ivanisevic win Wimbledon in Maria’s Bar, life was good.

Relationships, however, fade and the following year I came on my own, staying above Maria’s Bar, watching the football and experiencing the heartache of David Seaman being caught off his line. The bar was really the hub of my solo trips to Kefalos, Manos and Gianni became great friends and I’d sit, lazily gazing out to sea, watching the red moon rise over Nisyros and enjoying the banter with new friends and old.

In late 2003, I met Grommit in a local pub, we had a drink and over the next few months we danced around each other somewhat before getting together in early 2004, I stayed for a night and never left. Grommit had a holiday booked to Goa in February, I was a mature student at university and had decided to go to Kefalos to celebrate my graduation and the start of a new chapter in my life.

My visit to Kefalos coincided with the 2004 Euros and I had the unique pleasure of watching Greece win through the semifinals and the finals to become champions, joined by my Scottish friend of many years (when he was awake). I’ll never forget the sight and sound of the whole of Kefalos parading down the harbour road on whatever transport they could find, sounding their horns and cheering. After that, things get a bit hazy...

Grommit and I got married in October 2004 and Kefalos took a back seat for a year. We travelled to Malaysia for a late honeymoon in 2005, walked on the sky bridge between the twin Petronas Towers in Kuala Lumpur and drank champagne on the beach in Langkawi.

In 2006 we bought a house together, but still wanted a cheeky week. This would be the first time that Grommit had been to Kefalos and I was worried that she might not get on with the place, but her first view of Kastri Island on the road going past Club Med soon put paid to that idea. We stayed at Kontessa, because of the pool and the view, but more importantly, it was a 5 minute stroll to Maria’s Bar, down the steps behind the pool. A week goes so quickly that before we knew it we were sat in the bar awaiting our transfer home, watching Lordi win the Eurovision Song Contest. Kefalos had worked it’s magic and Grommit was hooked.

We have stayed in various places over the years, Kontessa again, incurring the wrath of Joanna on a few occasions. We also stayed at Mayflower and Dionisia before settling on Stenna.

Stenna Apartments sit next to Villa Georgios, which sit next to Kontessa. The views from the upstairs balcony are fabulous, looking out across the bay to Nisyros. Stenna Apartments are basic, but very clean and well serviced and our stays have gradually increased from a fortnight to a month.

Usually our trips are hassle free, but in 2016 a few days before we were due to fly, I was sat on the toilet when I read that our tour operator lowcostholidays had gone bust. It was a good job I was sat where I was. A flurry of emails and messages followed, the flights were safe, but we had to pay Stenna directly when we arrived. Luckily we managed to claim the lost amount through the credit card. Panic over.

In the early years we used to hire a quad for the duration, which led to an adventure we called ‘2 Norwegians and a Yorkshireman’. We were having a drink in the bar when we got talking to an ex-pat who had lived on the island for a while. He offered to show us some places off the beaten track and a Norwegian couple sitting close by chimed in saying that they had a quad too and would like to come along. We met at the given time and place and the Yorkshireman led us off road, down some pretty hairy tracks stopping at a monastery on the way, before ending up at a deserted beach over the hill and far away. It was hard going, on a couple of occasions, Grommit had to get off and push as the quad had got stuck in a rut.

We took the quad around the island, visiting Mastahari, which we found to be smelly and being on the quad so long left us walking like a couple of cowboys. I toyed with the idea of taking it up to Zia, but decided against it and went on an organised trip instead, we ate at a restaurant high up the hill and watched the sunset.

One of our trips on the quad took us down a rutted and twisty road to Magic Beach. We had a wander around and Grommit said ‘What’s down there’ pointing past Magic Beach towards the Blue Lagoon resort. ‘That’s the nuddy beach’ I replied. ‘Do you want to have a look?’ She declined. However later that evening after an Ouzo or two, she said ‘should we go?’ ‘Go where?’ I replied. ‘The nuddy beach’. ‘I will if you will’ I said.

The next day found us on two sun beds on Exotic Beach, both of us thought the other would bottle it, until suddenly she whipped ‘em off. I had to follow. So began our time as nudists and to be honest after a couple of minutes it felt like the most natural thing in the world, we’ve been going ever since. As we now go for a month, the patrons of the beach change with the weeks. Firstly there are the Germans, who tend to be robust and hairy, the German men more so. Then a couple of weeks later the Italians arrive. They are polished and shaved to within an inch of their lives and never stop talking. One year we had an Italian couple next to us, the lady had obviously undergone some enhancements so that her assets pointed directly skyward. I half expected Tim Peake to climb out of one. We have seen some sights on the beach, a group of naked Germans rescuing an Octopus, I’d have been banging it on a rock and taking it to a restaurant. The ‘Running Man’ is a regular, he runs past a couple of times a day with a big harpoon which I assume he catches things with. He always has shorts on though. Then there are the poseurs, proudly displaying their tackle down by the waters edge. if only...

Since the scare of 2016, we now book directly with the apartment and sort out our own flights. We have a car waiting at the airport with our names in the windscreen and the keys under the mat. The first time we hired a car was a bit scary to say the least. I was trying to change gear with the door handle and reaching into thin air to find the seatbelt, not to mention driving too close to the verge and putting the fear of God into Grommit. Other than driving on the wrong side, there are a couple of other differences. Giving way to traffic coming onto a roundabout took some getting used to, as did the speed limits which at best are advisory and at worst a minimum. Taxis seem to obey different laws of physics to the rest of us, I have it good authority that some of them can break the sound barrier on the way back to the airport. The first car we had was Atos Prime, an elderly lady who puffed and panted up the hills, grumbling at the ruts down to Magic Beach. She served us well for a couple of years until we traded up to an i10, Atos Prime viewed us with sad eyes, which made us feel a bit guilty. The i10 was fine, but still grumbled at the cart track leading to the beach, so the next year we had a Jimny. Imagine my horror when we turned at the Honey Factory to find a perfectly paved road leading down. Fortunately this ended after a hundred meters or so and we could enjoy the ruts with 4 wheel drive. Lately we’ve had a soft top Aygo, which is great.

The days merge into one another, breakfast is usually yoghurt and honey on the balcony, looking across the bay watching the windsurfers fall off or ogling the latest super yacht in the harbour. Grommit prepares lunch to take to the beach whilst I go to Kefalos Market for supplies (it will always be ‘Better than Asda’ though). Day at the beach with a book, maybe a bit of snorkelling. When Grommit goes swimming I may throw some bread in to attract the fish, something she still has an issue with, ‘but it’s their home’ I say. ‘I don’t care, I don’t want ‘em near me’. Then we make the most important decision of the day, where to eat tonight. Sometimes we take it in turns to choose a restaurant, sometimes we agree and sometimes we’ll just go somewhere neither of us had thought of.

Once home from the beach, it’s gin and tonic time on the balcony with some nibbles. Then the difficult choice of what to wear. I am probably worse than Grommit, having bought 7 or 8 pairs of shoes and having to match them up with my particularly colourful shirts. Sometimes I get the thumbs up, but mostly my choices are frowned upon. She always puts me right though.

Maria’s Bar is usually our first stop of the evening. Manos greets us warmly and poses the same question ‘2 Ouzos?’. We sit at the bar, enjoying the delightful anise flavour, people watching and looking out to sea watching the colours change as evening falls. The purple haze that forms on the horizon is always mesmerising.

We go to Kefalos at roughly the same time every year and inevitably we bump into friends we’ve made in previous years, conversation and a few more Ouzos while away a couple of hours, catching up with what people have been doing, enjoying the gentle banter. Then at an undetermined time, we head off for tea.

We have our favourites, Stamatia for one. They always used to have spicy cheese mouse on the menu, we never ordered it and it is no longer listed, which is a shame. It’s in a good spot and we are always welcomed with open arms. Similarly Captain John’s is a go to, we tend to eat small plates there. One year we were fortunate enough to be in when the family got together, the lad playing the violin and the rest of the family singing. I am a notorious weeper, my eyes moisten when someone sells a bit of tat on Flog It for £1000, I cry when the Swan dies, even thought I’ve seen it half a dozen times. And don’t get me started on the Repair Shop! I had no idea what the song was about, but it was so beautiful and heartfelt that the tears began to run. Just thinking about it now raises the same feeling. So, yes, Captain John’s holds a special place for me.

When we first came to Kefalos, we would just order off the menu and get what we were given. Once in a restaurant I ordered Gyros and out came a plate heaving with meat, bread, chips, rice and Uncle Tom Cobbley and all, I was overwhelmed and couldn’t eat any of it. The owner was most put out, we have never been back to that particular place. Since then we have either ordered small plates, or tailored the dish to what we want, for example, just some souvlaki on one plate, some chips and a Greek salad on another, and a litre of house rose. No one complains.

Stop Inn is another regular, although the location may not be the best, the food is always good. We always make the trip up to the harbour to eat at Faros, Mimi is lovely and they serve Goat, which is one of Grommit’s favourites and the fish is always spot on. Mimi paints wonderful wine bottles too, of which we have three. We watched a Lunar Eclipse from there which was magical. At the other end of the resort is Kompologaki, which is truly great, authentic food cooked well, worth a trip, mind you we have to stop at My Place (Dolphin Rock) for sustenance on the way there, and back. Sydneys is always dependable if we wanted a change from Greek food, their steak is always well cooked and the Sydney Burger is a guilty pleasure. They have some decent wine too.

Mylotopi, the restaurant at the windmill in the village is good for a blow out, we have had some beautifully presented dishes there, but as it’s now tied in with Ikos Aria, it can get very busy and I felt that the service suffered a bit. No complaints about the food though.

Although we have our regulars, we always try to go somewhere we haven’t been before, sometimes this is a mistake, but occasionally we find somewhere good. Last year it was Cavos, on the harbour road. It’s quite an unassuming place, but we found the food and atmosphere very good indeed, one to add to the list.

Some evenings we’d stay in and order a pizza and salad from the Pizzeria Deliziare and sit on the balcony drinking some local wine. A few years ago we went on the ‘Tastes of Kos’ tour and went to the now sadly closed Volcania Winery, we were particularly taken with their Retsina and bought a couple of bottles home. On our last stay, we made it a mission to try and find some of this no longer made wine. We found one in the Honey Factory shop and bizarrely, another on the boat taking us on the sunset cruise, which Grommit managed to get for nothing.

We always book our trips through Joyce at JD Tours (other tour operators are available). Joyce is brilliant, always going the extra mile to help. The sunset cruise is a must, the boat makes its way round Kastri Island, goes back across the bay and round the headland to watch the sun disappear into the sea. From there the boat takes us to a small inlet where we moor up and have the option of a night-time jump into the sea, which Grommit did once. A barbecue follows, with as much wine as we can drink and some Greek dancing, but the highlight for me is when they turn the lights off. Once in total darkness, the heavens reveal themselves, the Milky Way shines across the sky in a way that I’d never seen before, the most glorious sight. I am humbled by the magnificence of the universe and am grateful to have seen this spectacle away from artificial light.

Other trips include Kos town by night, it’s too hot for me in the daytime. We do the tat alley thing and usually buy something ceramic to take home. We found a micro bar on one of the side streets where we sit outside, drink Ouzo and eat snacks, watching the world go by. The owner recognises us and always takes our photo. It’s touches like this that make it special.

I went to Nisyros many years ago, but Grommit and I went back. Grommit really doesn’t do boats and the crossing was a particularly rough one, which had Grommit turning a bit green and having to sit inside, whilst I did the Leonardo Di Caprio thing at the front of the boat. I’ve been to the volcano before, but I told Grommit it was rubbish so we spent some time wandering around Mandraki before having lunch down by the harbour. I find Mandraki to be a charming town, winding streets with balconies either side that nearly meet. For me it seems to be authentic Greece. We’ve toyed with the idea of staying for a few nights, even more so since I read in the Lonely Planet that there is a new restaurant that has been opened by a couple of Greek Masterchef contestants.

We usually go on the trip to the Sunset Taverna, which as the name suggests is a great place to get a view of the sun fading into the sea. We probably go up to Kefalos village a couple of times, usually to blow the budget at Mylotopi, but also to sit in the traditional bars for Ouzo and nibbles and wander, buying more ceramic things.

Half way through our holiday, we say to each other that we’re lucky we can go for a month and that we have another 2 weeks ahead, but these too slip past and soon it’s time to go home and sort out the carnage in the garden.

Kefalos for us is about friendship, fun, food and nudity. Occasionally we get chided about returning to the same place every year, but we point out that the place has everything we desire, good company, good food, beautiful beaches and no hassle or stress whatsoever. What more could we want.

We’re now in April 2020 and the world is facing an uncertain future. Our flights are booked for July, but it’s looking increasingly unlikely that we will get back this year. Our garden may benefit from us being at home, but our hearts will be in Kefalos.

nice to hear from you again, missed your stories and adventures on Kos, this one however mirrors a lot of people who return year after year, only a few people can say they didn't pick up the 'bug' and fall in love. i really enjoyed reading this thank you